I loved your story! You used a good range of vocabulary such a ‘paralyzed’. Also you added suspense, for example ‘I went upstairs and smelt something, fire’. However, in this case you could of used ellipses.
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I loved your story! You used a good range of vocabulary such a ‘paralyzed’. Also you added suspense, for example ‘I went upstairs and smelt something, fire’. However, in this case you could of used ellipses.