Hi Alton,
I have really enjoyed reading your writing and I was kept interested throughout. You have included some excellent vocabulary and dramatised some of your writing for effect. Well done! I particularly like the was that you have used adverbs and adjectives along with alliteration in your writing as this draws in your target audience. My suggestion for next time would be to try and include a wider range of vocabulary, such as ; : or “” and perhaps even a rhetorical question?
I would be intrigued to read more of your writing as you have a skill here that you can develop further. Keep going and well done!
Ben (Team 100wc)
Hi Alton,
I have really enjoyed reading your writing and I was kept interested throughout. You have included some excellent vocabulary and dramatised some of your writing for effect. Well done! I particularly like the was that you have used adverbs and adjectives along with alliteration in your writing as this draws in your target audience. My suggestion for next time would be to try and include a wider range of vocabulary, such as ; : or “” and perhaps even a rhetorical question?
I would be intrigued to read more of your writing as you have a skill here that you can develop further. Keep going and well done!
Ben (Team 100wc)